Not really. Turning 50 actually sucks. Mortality kicks in. Survival instincts come into play as you try to avoid getting sick or injured. Maybe a walk around the neighborhood is a lot smarter than playing 5 soccer matches over a 2 week period. And I'm the kind of guy who can strain a foot muscle from driving or even watching a football match from the sidelines. I can honestly state that I have injured myself several times while sleeping! But yet, I will survive, aches and pains at all. What is the name of that muscle I just pulled? Where the frak did that come from? How did I get this bruise? What the heck is that thing growing on my cheek? Pimple, bug bite, alien spider nest? I will just shut up and just relish in the fact that I'm just happy to be here.
50 is Shifty
This battle scarred shell in which I reside, has worked wonders. I've had several concussions in my lifetime, running into a tree (literally), bike accidents, American football. But I am still here. Yes, my body may be 50. How did I even survive until now? I thought 28 was as far as I would go. Inside, I feel like I'm 20. Or at least I trick myself into thinking so. When I was 20, I used to deliver pizzas and go to rock concerts and partied every weekend. Now, I deliver people instead of pizzas to their destinations. "Sometimes we must come full circle to find the truth." (The X-Files s3 e11). I try to avoid even thinking about partying unless it is a very special event because hangovers are never any fun for an old dude. But if I can hit a cheap concert, I will.
50 is Shitty
Too young to qualify for the senior citizen discount, but too old to hit the club and not appear to be too creepy. Let me get this straight, I may be creepy, but I'm not a creep. Lol. In fact, I wrote some song lyrics about this topic once. But that is for another time. 50 is shitty because you're stuck in this odd place where you don't feel old, but when you look in the mirror, you wonder who the frak turned the clock so quickly. And yet you know, that it all goes downhill from here. Well crap, in fact, it goes all downhill once you hit 40. My body will eventually have to get checked out at the shop more often. My mind will need to reset at least once a month so as not to get too overstressed. My only goal seems to be to find rest and relaxation if possible. And to maybe help a few people along the way.
50 Rocks
I can't complain. I won't complain. Many of my ancestors and family members have surpassed this age threshold and have survived. So shall I. I will just let this birthday wash over me or better yet, let it wash down my throat along with a few glasses of sparkling wine or maybe some fancy sipping rum. I have learned a few tricks along the way, from my siblings. The trick is to keep breathing. The trick is to find humor in everything I do. The trick is to keep one foot in front of another. To hold the hand of my lovely lady as we walk the next decade together. The trick is to manage what I can just one day at a time. 50 is nifty, just wait til I'm 60. WTF did I just write? 100% corn.
50 Afterthoughts
My 50th birthday was a beautiful day. The weather was nice. It was ultra warm in the city. I took the fam to see Tarantino's latest at 1030H. At 1345H, we had sushi buffet. At 1900H, I had my fantasy football league's 27th annual draft. It was a wonderful day. I received many, many greetings and salutations and a couple of phone calls from family. Yet I had an epiphany on the most important thought I will carry with me from this point forward. Even though I may have more days behind me than I likely will have ahead. The only motto or slogan or credo that makes any sense at this particular place and time is the following:
I may be 50,
Yet I'm...
Looking 40
Feeling 20
Bald for 30
Bold for 50
Rock on!
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